Painful Silence
by Tora Kazen
Summary: Senri Shiki, 17 and deeply in love with his fiancé Kaname Kuran, still hasn't had his first kiss. At home he can speak freely with his parents, though he struggles to speak with most others including Kaname. Not being able to speak his mind, Senri can only wait for Kaname to make the first move. But, Senri only worries more as time goes by... Contains Yaoi (manxman) Pair: KanaShiki
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters in the series.**

**A/N: **Hooray! A new fic is here!

The pairing is Kaname Kuran x Senri Shiki  
It contains Yaoi (man x man) and will possibly have a lemon or two in later chapters.  
Rated M

If you strongly disagree with anything listed above please do not read, you have been warned.

Summary: Senri Shiki, despite being seventeen and deeply in love with his fianc_é_ Kaname Kuran, still hasn't even had his first kiss. At home he can speak freely with his parents, though he struggles to speak with most others including Kaname. Not being able to speak his mind to his beloved, Senri can only wait for Kaname to make the first move. But, Senri only worries more as time goes by. Is he not good enough? Is Kaname seeing someone else behind his back? He just wishes he could ask Kaname...but he can't.

Special thanks to eikoamaya.1 who requested this Kaname x Shiki fic ^^

This is the first request I've ever done. When I heard it was KanaShiki I didn't know how it would turn out because I haven't worked with this pairing before. But, I thought it would be a good challenge and then I got the idea and now I think it will turn out well and am looking forward to it :D  
I know that this fic is not KaZe like most of my stories, but I still hope that you like it. I am finding it quite enjoyable to write. :)  
Currently, I think it will be around 13 or so chapters with a high possibility of a few more depending on how things pan out. ^^  
Hopefully the next chapter will be up sometime this weekend. ^^

Please read, review, fave and follow. But, most of all, please enjoy! :D

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Pain of Silence**

Senri Shiki had always been a boy who could be described as beautiful. He was slightly thinner than most boys of his age, yet his skin appeared delightfully soft without his ribs being obviously visible. His muscles were toned enough to be seen, yet only just. Another attractive feature was his pronounced collarbone many were envious of. His brunette hair, cut above his shoulders, was shiny and well cared for, with a hint of red. He chose to wear it somewhat spiky to complement his style. But, above all of this, his most beautiful feature was his pale blue, nearly silver, eyes.

Surely, being this attractive, he could have the heart of whomever he wanted… But alas, no one is perfect…

…

Senri was at his home in the library when his father, Rido, entered.

"Good afternoon, father. How was your meeting with the council this morning?" Senri asked cheerfully.

"The meeting was pretty boring, but the lunch afterwards wasn't bad. I saw Haruka, Juri and Kaname today…" Rido noted that Senri perked up slightly when hearing Kaname's name. "You know, now that you're seventeen, and my son, you could attend the meetings as well." He suggested.

"The council always seems so stuffy… I think I would be more comfortable at home." Senri dodged the subject.

_Of course I want to go…He will be there… But, I would just be in the way at the council…_

"Well, at least I invited the Kurans over for dinner tonight. If I didn't intervene I fear that you would never see your dear fiancé." Rido informed him.

"K-Kaname-sama is coming here? Tonight!?" Senri panicked.

"Yes, tonight. You had no plans so it should be fine, yes?" Rido said.

"Yes, yes it's fine. I really want to see him… But you could have given me more time!" Senri protested as he ran from the room, slamming the door behind him.

"They're arriving at seven!" Rido yelled after his son.

_Really…couldn't father have called me to give me some warning!_

…

Senri raced to his bedroom and entered his ensuite bathroom.

*Shaaaaaaaaa*

He turned on the hot water and entered the shower. Inside, he lathered his hair with the finest rose-scented shampoo before using rose-scented body wash on his body, making sure that he was immaculately clean and smelled of the romantic flower. After he finished showering he also applied a rose-scented moisturising lotion and a light rose perfume, just for good measure.

Many may wonder why Senri always wore the scent of the rose. The habit began on his birthday three years ago…

…

**Flashback**

Senri stood next to his father and mother, greeting the party guests as they arrived. Rido and his mother did most of the work for him, addressing people by name and making polite conversation. They did so because they knew that such social interactions were sometimes…difficult for Senri. Accepting the help from his parents, Senri merely greeted the guests with a slight bow or nod. Occasionally he would also respond to their questions with 'yes', 'no' or 'thank you' if absolutely necessary. But, then came the Kurans.

Yuki, the youngest of the Kurans bounded past Rido and Shizuka, pulling Senri into a tight hug.

"Happy Birthday, Senri! It's so good to see you again! And, you look great tonight!" She cheerfully talked for more than her half of the conversation.

Yuki always seemed to be full of unfathomable amounts of energy and positive thinking. Senri liked to think of Yuki as his friend, though he had never mentioned this to her. He had no idea when he was supposed to talk and rarely was able to keep up with her fast-paced conversation.

"Thank you." Is all he responded with.

His expression seemed bored and apparently set in stone. But it was the only face he could give in this situation. He was nervous and didn't know what else to do or how else to respond. So he just looked bored to hide how uncomfortable he was.

"Shiki! You should smile more! It is your birthday after all!" Yuki scolded.

"Sorry." He replied succinctly, bowing his head.

"Yuki, I'm sure that Senri is tired from having to greet everyone. Go easy on him, okay?" Kaname's deep, melodic voice resonated from behind where Yuki was standing.

Senri immediately tensed as he heard the voice of his fiancé, the man he had liked for as long as he could remember.

_What do I do… I didn't say much to Yuki and probably embarrassed myself. I'll just keep my head bowed and hopefully he won't notice me…though I want him to notice me…_

Kaname shooed Yuki onwards and took the position in front of Senri. He gently cupped the side of Senri's face in one of his big hands.

"Please raise your head. You have done nothing wrong. It is I who must apologise for her thoughtless actions." He used his hand to tilt Senri's face up to face him.

"I…" Senri couldn't think of what to say.

_Oh no! I can feel myself blushing. This is so embarrassing…_

Kaname only smiled sweetly at Senri's innocent reactions.

"It feels like so long ago since I last saw you, Senri. You are certainly a sight for sore eyes, as beautiful as ever…" Kaname took Senri's hand and raised it to his soft lips, placing a kiss near the knuckles.

Senri did not know where to look as Kaname did this. He knew that he was still blushing like a fool. Yet, after kissing his hand, Kaname did not immediately release his wrist.

*sniff*

_I'm wearing a new perfume today…what if he doesn't like it?_

Senri panicked internally at this small gesture but was relieved when he saw a smile appear on Kaname's face. After taking a second sniff to enjoy the sweet fragrance he looked at Senri with those seductive half-lidded eyes.

"Mmm…rose, I believe?" Kaname checked.

"You believe correctly." Senri spoke quietly.

"Rose is my favourite scent, you know?" Kaname informed him, "You wear it well, Senri…"

**Flashback End**

…

That was all it took. After that day Senri discarded all of his other scents and only wore rose because he knew that it was Kaname's favourite. Just one comment from Kaname changed Senri's actions accordingly because Kaname was Senri's special person. He was special, not only because they were engaged, but because he had loved Kaname for as long as he could remember. From a young age, even though he seemed quite content and happy at home, Senri had always struggled to be open and express his emotions to various others. Because he struggled so much to speak to the one he loved, he had to use the few clues he had to try and please Kaname.

Looking towards the clock on the wall he saw that it had just passed six o'clock. Knowing that he had to move fast he wrapped a bathrobe around himself and went to his walk-in wardrobe. Senri needed the large space in order to fit all of his clothes. He knew that he looked good and enjoyed fashion. So, he strived to look his best on every occasion, taking extra care whenever Kaname came to visit.

After searching through his wardrobe he decided on his clothes for the evening. He selected a white suit with a pale blue shirt that complimented his eyes. He then accessorised with a silver tie and silver rose-shaped cufflinks. He especially wanted to wear the cufflinks because they were a gift that Kaname gave him at his sweet sixteenth.

He checked his appearance in the mirror before quickly combing and fixing his hair. Thankfully he cared for his skin well. There were neither blemishes nor freckles he needed to cover. The only make-up he used was a small amount of eyeliner to enhance his pale eyes. Mascara was unnecessary due to his already plentiful, dark lashes.

Senri glanced at the clock once again and saw that it was half-past six. Only stopping to check that his tie was straight, he left his room and headed down the large staircase towards the front door.

…

*tip* *tap* *tip* *tap*

The sound of Senri's shoes echoed across the marble floor of the entrance hall. He was pacing back and forth, nervously waiting for the arrival of his beloved and his family.

He was looking forward to tonight, yet also nervous about what would happen. It was like this every time they came to visit. Just the thought of seeing Kaname made his heart jump for joy. However, he was getting to the age where he wanted more…

Even though he was seventeen, head over heels in love and formally engaged, the closest interaction he had ever had with Kaname was a kiss on the back of his hand. His lips were still un-claimed, his blood had never been given to anyone and his body was still untouched. Yet, he was not so pure by choice. Night after night he would dream of his handsome pureblood kissing and more… However, whenever they met things never progressed.

Senri wished that he could take what he wanted, find the courage to kiss Kaname or even suggest something bold. But, he just couldn't. He was scared and didn't have enough confidence or courage. He could hardly talk to the pureblood, let alone suggest they do something like **that**. All he could do was wait for Kaname to make the first move.

_I wonder if maybe tonight will be the night…_

Just as he thought this the doorbell rang.

*Ding-dong*

_They're here!_


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters in the series.**

**A/N: Chapter 2 is finally here! :)**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Reviews give me a lot of motivation! :D  
本当にありがとうございます! がんばります! (hontouni arigatou gozaimasu! ganbarimasu! = Thank you so much! I will do my best!) :D  
**

**Unfortunately this is my only update for tonight. I have just been informed at short notice that some people I know are travelling tomorrow, so I have to get up early to see them off. I have had so many early mornings this week... I just wanna sleep in because it's getting cold here... -.- zzZ**

**Please read, review, fave and follow. But, most importantly, please enjoy! :D**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Suggestion at Dinner**

*Ding-Dong*

_They're here!_

Senri's pulse increased as his excitement grew. He dashed to the door quickly, eager to see his fiancé. Extending a hand, he turned the nob and opened the door without a thought for his condition.

"Hello, Senri. It is fantastic to see you once again." Haruka greeted him.

"Indeed. It has been a while since we saw you, and I must say that you are looking well this evening." Juri complimented.

"…" Senri wanted to give them a proper answer. He wanted to say how wonderful it was that they had come and apologise profusely for not inviting them earlier. He wanted to make light conversation, maybe compliment Juri's dress and her new hairclip, which he noted was from one of the most expensive fashion houses that he greatly admired. From the shape and style he guessed that this must have been a treasured present from her loving husband.

However, even though he had so much he wanted to say, he couldn't say it. He didn't know where to begin and if the conversation would go as he planned. Even though he didn't wish it, he found himself tensing up and not being able to speak with the depth and feeling he desired. The words he wished to say never exited his mouth, instead:

"It has been a while." Senri managed to reply, bowing towards them.

Haruka and Juri both gave him a gentle smile. Having known Senri since his childhood, due to the close connection of the Kuran and Shiki families, they were aware of his 'quiet nature' and were used to his lack of speech. Both of them knew to feel glad that Senri's response had been more than just one word.

"Hello, it's so good to see you both. I'm ever so glad that you could make it. Please follow me." Rido greeted the couple as he arrived on the scene and led them away so that Kaname and Senri could have some alone time. It seemed that Yuki did not decide to join them tonight.

_Way to go, dad! _Senri thanked his father in his head for this gift of time.

Kaname also seemed happy that they were alone. He removed his gloves, folded them and placed them in his pocket before moving towards Senri. Gently, he took Senri's hand and pressed it to his lips. This was their usual greeting, yet it sent Senri's heart aflutter every time without fail.

"It feels like so long since I last saw you, Senri. I've missed you." Kaname greeted him.

"Sorry…" Senri replied.

"It is not your fault so please don't apologise." Kaname responded, tucking one stray hair behind Senri's ear.

_But it is my fault…If I could only talk properly…If only I was normal…_

"Sorry." Senri scolded himself internally, realising that he had just apologised for apologising.

But, his accident caused Kaname to smile. This made him happier than anything else. The smile gave Senri some confidence so he tried to start conversation, nervous though he was.

"I noticed that Yuki did not attend tonight…" Senri pointed out quietly, his heart racing since he had made the initiative to talk.

"Yes, she couldn't. She had a prior arrangement to attend her friend's party. I'm sure that she sends her regards." Kaname informed him. "However, I feel slightly sad at the fact that the first thing you talk about is my sister. I thought that I was your fiancé…" Kaname lightly pouted.

He was only pouting in jest and did not mean for Senri to take this seriously. However, Senri didn't comprehend this and immediately the negative thoughts began flowing into his mind.

"I'm sorry." Senri apologised again.

_Why did I talk? Why did I force myself to talk? I said something stupid and Kaname didn't like it…I just made a fool of myself…_

Kaname noticed the subtle change in Senri's actions and realised what had happened.

"You have nothing to apologise for Senri. I only complained in jest so please don't take what I say seriously." Kaname tried to assure him.

Unfortunately it seemed that this misunderstanding had caused Senri to clam up once again.

"Please look at me." Kaname pleaded.

Senri slowly raised his head slowly, but struggled to meet Kaname's eyes without feeling embarrassment. Kaname then stroked a finger down Senri's soft cheek.

"It seems that I have upset you…" Kaname said sadly.

_N-no you haven't upset me. I can see that it was in jest now. I was the one who was foolish, not you. I could never be upset with you…_

"I'm not upset." Senri replied shortly.

"That is a relief to hear, Senri." Kaname responded.

Just as this conversation ended, Rido appeared again to inform them that dinner was ready. They followed him into the dining room.

_I wish that we could hold hands as we walked…but if I asked him he would think me childish…so I won't._

…

The dinner went rather pleasantly. The Kurans chatted with Rido and his wife about recent events, particularly Senri's recent graduation. He had graduated from high school two weeks ago with fantastic grades and had received a scholarship to the university he had been hoping to attend. So, many congratulations were in order even if the person they were celebrating seemed a little un-excited about their achievement.

"Senri, while I was talking to Haruka and Juri earlier we thought that you deserved a reward for doing so well. It is known that many school leavers go out on holidays with their friends or do some other major celebration to commemorate their transition into adulthood. But, we know that you don't particularly like crowds and would rather do something quieter. So, we came up with an idea!" Rido announced.

Senri had stopped eating and now was paying full attention to the conversation. He was rather intrigued to find out what they had thought of.

"We own a nice villa by the coast. It has spectacular surroundings and a wonderful beach which is great for viewing the sunset." Haruka began.

"It's all private property so there would be no crowds." Juri added.

"So we thought that maybe you would like a holiday there with Kaname, who has been eager to take a break from his work with the council, and Yuki, who is currently on her school holidays." Haruka concluded.

_I don't know that I would talk much. But any time I spend with Kaname is good, and Yuki is one of my friends...It also sounds like it's a nice, quiet and rexlaxing place. The whole idea sounds wonderful…_

While Senri was thinking, Kaname was the first to speak up.

"That sounds like an excellent idea! I would love to spend some time with Senri." Kaname turned in Senri's direction to address him. "The place is extremely beautiful and I would love nothing more than to show you the sights. Please say that you will join me?" Kaname pleaded.

_I can't say no to him._

"I would like that." Senri replied, nodding his approval.

"Well, that's settled then!" Rido pulled out another bottle of champagne to celebrate.

_I'm going to go on a holiday with Kaname! I can just imagine us strolling down the beach and the sight of him basking in the glow of the setting sun… I truly can't wait!_

Senri was filled with these happy thoughts as the dinner concluded.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters in the series.  
**

**A/N:** **Hi, Chapter 3 is finally here! :D**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter! :D **  
**I'm so glad that this story is getting support! ^^**

**I was absent over the past month due to various circumstances. But, I'm now back ^^.**  
**However, due to my university exams my updates will be on-and-off (whenever I get the chance to write around study) this month. Updates should return to normal in July! :) **

**I have my first exam tomorrow and it's my most difficult subject... I just hope I pass. (TT^TT)**

**More importantly: This chapter is reasonably long and sets the scene of the villa, preparing for the main dilemma of the plot to be revealed next chapter.  
**

**Please read, review, fave and follow! But, most importantly, please enjoy! :D**

* * *

**Chapter 3: The Arrival**

After he had packed his bags and said his goodbyes to his parents, Senri strode down the stairs, out the doors of the Shiki household and into the back of the sleek black car that was awaiting him outside, purposefully maximising the distance between himself and the enthusiastic driver.

"Hello, Shiki-sama. My name is Tsukigawa Hayate and I will be your driver today!" The driver announced as he seated himself behind the wheel.

"Hello." Shiki replied quietly, beginning to assess the man as he spoke.

Hayate was quite young, probably only a few years older than his passenger. For his profession he was also rather tall. His combed black hair was nearly touching the roof of the car while seated, and although he was wearing the standard uniform of one of the official Shiki family chauffers, Senri noticed that Hayate's tie was crooked and that one of the buttons on his white shirt was undone.

_This man must be new here…and looking at his clothes he was probably running late this morning. Should I tell him? No…that could make things awkward for the rest of the drive. I'm sure that someone will tell him later, though they will probably scold him for it._

Being irritated by the man's poor dress, yet also not wishing to mention it, Senri pulled his mp3 player and a book from his travel bag. He purposely chose a very thick book because he knew that it would be a long drive to the villa. This would also be his best attempt at ignoring Hayate. He thought that this was the best strategy for a peaceful drive, but Hayate had other ideas.

"Goodness, Shiki-sama! That's a large book, isn't it? What's it called?" Hayate tried to start a conversation.

*twitch*

_Generally when someone takes out a book it suggests that they want to read instead of talk, doesn't it? Besides, a professional driver should never bother his passengers unnecessarily. None of the other drivers are like this!_

"Its called 'The first prince'. This is the first book in the series which I aim to finish before I return home. In order to achieve that goal I need to begin reading now, if that's ok." Senri responded politely, yet still with enough edge so that Hayate would understand that he did not want to talk right now.

"Oh, of course Shiki-sama! Please just forget that I'm here!" Hayate quickly corrected, indicating that he would be silent for the rest of the trip.

_Haaah…. I never know how to deal with people who are so energetic…_

Thinking that he would be able to spend the rest of the drive reading his book he plugged in his earphones and began listening to his favourite mix of classics. However, the peace he desired was not attained so easily…

*tap* *tap* *tap* *tap *tap*

Hayate began tapping the wheel to some kind of invented beat. It was so loud that Senri could hear it over the sound of his music. Clearly it was going to be impossible to 'just forget' that Hayate was there.

"Excuse me?" Senri interrupted quietly.

"What can I do for you, Senri-sama?" Hayate beamed in return.

"Could you please stop that tapping? It's distracting me." He asked politely.

"No problem!" Hayate replied enthusiastically.

But, once again the quiet didn't last.

*~Whistles~*

About an hour into the drive, Hayate had clearly forgotten Senri's request when he began whistling some awful tune the brunette had no wish to listen to. However, this time Senri didn't complain. He couldn't. He didn't know how. Considering that the last complaint failed he didn't see how this one would make a difference. So, he lost hope and gave in to the incessant whistling of Hayate.

_I already requested once and he ignored me. He probably wouldn't listen again. There's no point arguing a fight I can't win…I'll just have to endure it!_

Senri turned up the volume of his music and attempted to ignore the annoying man's whistling that he was doomed to endure by burying his thoughts in his book of choice.

_This is going to be a long drive…_

…

Thankfully for Senri they eventually arrived at the Kuran family's villa. The villa was smaller than the Kuran family's main household which Senri had visited in the past. It was predominantly made of a white marble which shone in the sun and had a wonderfully green garden with many flowers surrounding it. In the courtyard which led to the house there was also a dual dome fountain which was formed with the same material as the main building to compliment it perfectly.

Hayate opened the door, allowing Senri to step out of the car. As he exited the car he straightened his shirt and made sure that his clothes weren't creased from sitting in the car for such an extended period of time. Feeling satisfied with his appearance he then pulled his travel bag onto his shoulder and headed towards the front door of the villa. As he walked he gazed upon the one who had come to greet him at the entrance of the great house.

It was Kaname, his beloved Kaname, in casual attire. Senri found himself feeling quite star-struck at this sight. He usually saw Kaname at important events where the pureblood would undoubtedly be wearing his fine suits and formal-wear, but today he was dressed in his more casual clothing. A pair of dark jeans covered his lengthy legs. This was topped with a patterned red button-up shirt. The shirt also had several of the top buttons undone, showing his collarbones beneath his flawless skin.

"Senri, I'm so glad you could make it." Kaname greeted him, rushing to meet the smaller brunette.

When he reached Senri he grazed his lips against the skin of Senri's exposed hand. While Senri was still dazzled he also took the travel bag onto his own shoulder.

"Allow me to carry this for you." He insisted.

"Thank you." Senri replied, still blushing somewhat from seeing his beloved in such a wonderfully relaxed state.

"If you'll follow me I'll show you to your room." Kaname informed Senri, leading him into the house.

They travelled up the central stairs to the first floor before taking a right. They then followed the corridor and entered the last door on their left, before the double doors at the end of the corridor. As they entered the room the first thing that drew Senri's attention was the large four-poster bed in the centre of the pale blue room. Looking around he saw that the room was well furnished with a sofa, a writing desk and even a walk-in wardrobe.

"I hope that the room is to your satisfaction?" Kaname checked.

"Yes, it's lovely." Senri assured him.

"I also have one more thing to show you before I let you settle in!" Kaname announced, grabbing Senri's hand and leading him to the curtains at the far side of the room.

*Ba-dump* *Ba-dump*

_H-he's holding my hand!_

Senri's eyes widened and his face naturally flushed with the close contact. Kaname didn't seem to notice as he pushed back the curtain and opened the door that was hiding underneath. He then pulled Senri one last metre, onto the balcony.

The balcony was quite spacious with a white marble railing, and had an outdoor lounge so that one could enjoy a pleasant evening outside under the stars. But, the most stunning thing about the balcony was the view. It looked out upon the beach and the sparkling sea. It was an extremely breathtaking sight. However, currently Senri's attentions were more focused on something else…

Kaname then turned to look at Senri as he realised what he had done. He saw that Senri's face was flushed and that he seemed quite shocked. Seeing this he immediately let go of the noble's hand, thinking that he had done something too bold and upset Senri.

"I'm sorry." He apologised. "I didn't mean to drag you. I just wanted to show you the balcony." Kaname tried to explain.

But, Senri didn't want Kaname to apologise. It sent his heart beating and only made him want more of Kaname.

"…" Senri was still trying to process the fact that they had held hands and couldn't think of a sufficient way to respond fast enough to reply at a 'normal' conversational speed.

_I should tell him that I enjoyed holding hands! Or would that be too forward of me…_

_I should at least let him know that I'm okay with it…but then he may not think of it as anything special…_

Senri thought through several responses in his head, but none of them seemed just right. And so he delayed saying them...

"I'm so sorry." Kaname tried apologising again before Senri had thought of a response.

"Please don't be sorry!" Senri managed to blurt out, desperate not to give his beloved the wrong impression.

_Oh no…I sounded too panicked. He probably thinks that I'm weird now…_

"But I've upset you…" Kaname began to protest.

"You didn't upset me…" Senri tried to clarify. "I just wasn't expecting it...though it was nice..." He tried to excuse his reaction and get his message through.

Kaname smiled at him gently, understanding that he was having trouble expressing himself. But, because Kaname didn't know the inner-workings of Senri's mind he still believed that he had upset Senri. He interpreted Senri's responses to be a polite way of dismissing his rudeness in holding Senri's hand unannounced.

"Well, there is no point living in the past. What has been done has been done. So, I will leave you here to get settled. After you've finished please join myself and Yuki downstairs." Kaname requested. "We have a surprise for you!" He hinted.

"A surprise?" Senri asked.

"Yes. So please join us soon, ok?" Kaname confirmed.

"Ok." Senri replied.

Kaname then went to leave Senri, but Senri plucked up the courage to speak up.

"Kaname?" He tried to get Kaname's attention before he left.

"Yes?" Kaname responded, quite surprised that the shy boy had spoken without prompting.

"Thank you for showing me the balcony, Kaname. It's wonderful." He complimented.

"I'm so glad that you like it." Kaname replied, before finally leaving Senri to his thoughts.

_They have a surprise for me…? I wonder what it will be?_

Senri quickly set about unpacking his belongings, hoping to see his surprise as soon as possible.


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the character within the series.**

**A/N: Hi, I'm back! :D**

**Sorry for vanishing for a few weeks: **I was studying hard for my exams which are now over (waiting for the results now) and then I was invited on a holiday to Singapore, and someone else was paying for my flight and accommodation, so I couldn't say no! It was absolutely fantastic, the warm weather was a lovely change, and I'm feeling wonderfully refreshed now that I have returned and I'm ready to get back to writing! ^^ While I was on holiday I did pre-plan a number of chapters for my fics so there should be quite a few updates over the next week!

**Important news: **I have edited my profile and added a section for my updates where I will list an estimate date for when I think I will be able upload the next chapter for each of my fics. I will do my best to keep it up-to-date so that it is as accurate as possible! I will also endeavour to list any long-term absences here in the future: eg. Holidays or Exam periods. I have done this for your convenience and I hope that you will find it useful. Let me know if you think this is a good idea?

**AokyorRenka,** **KxZ fan girl, ciaociao: **Thank you so much for your reviews! :D

**Please read, review fave and follow! But, most of all, please enjoy! :D**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Forgotten?**

After making sure that he had unpacked all of his belongings, Senri quickly checked his appearance in the en suite bathroom. He also applied a little more rose scent to his wrists as the perfume from this morning must have surely dissipated by now. Satisfied with his appearance and scent, the brunette eagerly headed out of the room and out into the hallway.

Moving as quickly as he could without running, because it was rude to run indoors in another person's house, he moved down the hallway and nearly bounded down the stairs. It had been years since anyone had created a surprise for him and he couldn't wait to find out what it was.

_He said to meet them downstairs…_

But there was no one in sight within the spacious entrance hall at the bottom of the staircase. Senri looked around, trying to decide where to go when he saw the door to the dining room standing slightly agar. He tilted his head, somewhat curiously, and decided:

_They must be in there…_

Senri walked up and stood before the large double door. He then took a deep breath to control his excitement, which could be heard through his rapidly beating heart, before gently pushing the door open. And…

…_Nothing?_

The large dining hall also appeared deserted. The lights were off, the curtains were closed and there wasn't anyone in sight. However, Senri still decided to move along the length of the long dining table, through the darkness. As he made his way across the room he caught sight of a large silver plate with a matching cover, obscuring the contents, in the middle of the grand table. Naturally curious, he moved closer to it and found that there was an envelope placed before the cover. And it was addressed to him…

Now convinced that he had made the right decision, and that this must be a part of his surprise, Senri carefully opened the envelope and removed the letter within. It appeared to be a poem. It read:

**You didn't think we would forget, did you?**

**This all-important day…**

**Though it seems you don't remember…**

**Don't dismay.**

**If you open the cover, I wonder what there will be?**

**Open me. Open me.**

Knowing that the poem must be speaking of the cover in front of him, he reached out his hand. He then grasped the handle and lifted the cover…

*Bang*

Senri jumped in surprise as a party popper went off and the lights flicked on. Underneath the cover was a cake, and looking at the now illuminated above he saw that there was a banner:

**Happy 18****th**** Birthday Senri!**

It said this using large letters that were unmistakably in his beloved's handwriting. The overwhelming sight caused Senri to smile without control. Looking for the one who had prepared this wonderful surprise for him he looked towards the light switch. There he saw Kaname, smiling.

"It's…my birthday." Senri managed to say.

It was true what the letter had said, that he had forgotten about his birthday, of all important days. What made him smile the most was the fact that Kaname had remembered this day when he hadn't. This made Senri feel special and warm inside. He so desperately wanted to say the name of the one he loved and embrace them right there…

However, it was Yuki who had pulled the party popper and he was aware of her presence in the room. Kaname's sister, his own friend, or whatever position she currently held, Senri felt uncomfortable displaying his affections toward Kaname in front of her. He knew that if he were to embrace Kaname here she would see, she would watch, she would judge and she would talk, and he couldn't talk back, and he wouldn't know what to do. He just couldn't do it.

Although he was still smiling from the joy of the surprise, Kaname saw Senri tense up slightly. He half-wondered if his actions from before were upsetting Senri, but whatever the case, he knew that he had to make the first move here, lest Senri turn into a statue for the entire evening.

"Happy Birthday Senri." Kaname's warm voice greeted Senri's ears.

As Kaname approached his arms widened as if to hug, though he stopped before doing so.

"May I?" He checked, not wanting to upset Senri again.

Senri wanted this. He really wanted this. He wanted to receive a hug, an embrace from his beloved Kaname. However, the word yes seemed to dance on the tip of his tongue, not quite willing to come out.

_What if he thinks I'm too willing?_

Not being able to say it, yet still craving the embrace those arms could give him, he managed a nod, informing Kaname of his decision.

It was rude to hug at a public function. Kisses to the back of the hand were much more socially accepted. So this was the first time he had ever been hugged by the one he loved. It was his first time being surrounded…

Surrounded by his beloved's arms, surrounded by his beloved's warmth, surrounded by his beloved's scent…Surrounded by his beloved, by his Kaname, for the first time… It was amazing…

However, that warmth pulled away all to soon to be replaced by Yuki's hug, which just wasn't the same. As soon as they had parted Shiki had craved the feeling of Kaname's arms again immediately. But, he knew that he shouldn't.

And so the night continued. It was a small gathering, but a birthday party none the less. They enjoyed themselves sharing cake, wine and small talk until it was late at night.

…

Senri had gone up to his room when he realised that he had taken his watch off and must have left it in the dining room. So, he headed back down the stairs and to the table, finding his watch immediately. He clipped it back on.

Before leaving he found his wine glass which still had a little champagne in it. Deciding not to be wasteful, Senri sipped the remnants from the glass as he exited the dining room. But, that was when he saw them…

He saw Kaname hug Yuki and** kiss** her on the cheek.

Normally, one would see this as a brother and sisterly exchange. After all, it was just a kiss on the cheek…

But it was more than Shiki ever had. All he got were kisses to the back of his hand.

That fact, combined with his heightened emotions from the surprise and the influence of the alcohol impairing his judgement somewhat, was too much for him to take.

It **shocked** him.

And his glass fell from his hand…


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters in the series.**

**A/N: Chapter 5 is here! :D**

This chapter is quite long so I sincerely hope you will enjoy it, though it does have quite a bit of angst, necessary angst of course... still, I hope you don't mind. :)**  
**

**Drocell Puppet, AokyorRenka, Neko1998, KxZ fan girl: **As always, thank you so much for your fantastic reviews! Reading them is the highlight of my day as you wonderful reviewers give me so much support to keep going! :)

**Please read, review, fave and follow! But, most of all, please enjoy! :D**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Defending Against Threat**

He saw Kaname hug Yuki and** kiss** her on the cheek.

Normally, one would see this as a brother and sisterly exchange. After all, it was just a kiss on the cheek…

But it was more than Shiki ever had. All he got were kisses to the back of his hand.

That fact, combined with his heightened emotions from the surprise and the influence of the alcohol impairing his judgement somewhat, was too much for him to take.

It **shocked** him.

And his glass fell from his hand…

…

*Crash*

The glass hit the floor.

*Ksshhhhh*

It fragmented into tiny, sharp particles which dispersed across the marble floor. The smaller particles, which travelled the furthest, nearly reached to **his** shoes, where he still stood next to Yuki.

The sound of the glass shattering was loud. It was so loud in the quiet entrance hall that it was impossible to ignore. Kaname looked up as the sudden noise penetrated his ear drums and his sight zeroed in on the origin of the sound immediately, Senri.

Senri looked shocked, as if he'd been shaken. He looked pale, his eyes were wide, his lip quivered slightly, only slightly. Kaname had seen Senri become tense in many situations, particularly social situations, due to his 'quiet nature'. But he could clearly see that this wasn't that kind of tenseness. This was shock. And the sight of Senri being shocked in turn shocked Kaname.

_But, what could cause Senri to act like this? _

Kaname didn't know, but he could tell that something was wrong. He couldn't help himself as he let go of Yuki, after bidding her goodnight, and approached Senri slowly. Comfort, he wanted to comfort Senri, his darling Senri. He wanted to make whatever pain the smaller brunet may be feeling go away. But, Senri recoiled, purposefully avoiding his touch and backing into the wall behind him.

Senri was avoiding him. Something was wrong. But he didn't understand **what** was wrong.

…

As Kaname's hand reached out to touch him Senri paced back, avoiding his fiance's touch. Although he did sincerely want to feel the touch of his beloved, it just felt wrong like this. It felt wrong for him to touch him after just touching her. He knew that they were brother and sister and that he should think nothing of it…but it was just so confusing. Both Kaname and Yuki were staring at him in concern. They were staring at him. He had drawn undue attention to himself and they were **staring **at him, examining him. Their eyes burned him, he didn't want them to stare at him as if he was something to ogle at. They were waiting for him to do something, explain his actions, do a back-flip…whatever they were expecting. All he felt was pressure, as if he was being forced to talk about the inner recesses of his mind. He didn't like the pressure, he couldn't cope with the pressure, and he didn't know what to say. Even if he had some level of reasoning for breaking his glass his brain wouldn't connect to his mouth and he couldn't say anything. The pressure of their stares just made him want to cry. All of his instincts were telling him to flee.

And so he did…

Before he knew it he was flying. His feet were moving of their own accord to take him away from here. In the corner of his eye he saw Kaname try to follow him but Yuki stopped him, grabbing his arm. Senri could hear her words trying to comfort Kaname and telling him to give him some space. For this Senri thanked her. She was a good friend and he indeed needed some space right now, to think.

But, she touched him. She touched his arm so casually as if she didn't have any hesitation to do so. Opposed to the thanks he was feeling this also created another negative reaction.

More contact. Why wasn't Senri allowed more contact? Even though she was his friend and had grabbed Kaname in order to give him space, in order to help him, he couldn't overlook the fact that they had touched. Seeing her touch him so casually, sent poison rocketing through his veins.

Senri wanted to touch Kaname. But he couldn't, he just couldn't. What if Kaname didn't like it? What if Kaname rejected him? Out of fear he could not touch Kaname of his own accord.

As he reached his room, which felt like a haven at the moment, he flung himself inside and slammed the door shut behind him, making sure to lock the door before sinking onto the floor.

And then the tears came…

*sob*

_I'm his fiancé… I'm his fiancé so why doesn't he touch me like that? Am I not good enough? Maybe he doesn't like me after all... Maybe he just wants to marry me because it's what our parents want for us…_

Senri's mind had sunk into a pit of despair. The doubts flooded in and could not be stopped. He kept wondering why Kaname wouldn't touch him and just kept blaming himself. After all, he was too scared, he was too fragile, he knew that he couldn't handle rejection so he did nothing. He hated the fact that he did nothing. He felt he couldn't do anything.

And aside from his social inadequacies he also thought about how low he had sunk…

Yuki was Kaname's sister and his friend, one of the few he had. She was his friend and yet Senri couldn't help but somehow blame her for what he had seen. Senri knew that he shouldn't but he did. Because, in Yuki he didn't just see his friend.

Yuki, in that situation could have been any number of people. Rather than his friend Yuki it could have been Sara Shirabuki, Ruka Souen, Tsukiko Aidou, even Hanabusa Aidou or any other number of vampires at marrying age. Every person he pictured in Yuki's place was currently single, available, had blood that was equal or better than his, had well-trained socialising skills and, in his mind, seemed like a much better match for Kaname than himself.

These were thoughts that didn't just make him feel sad, they made him feel anguished and inferior. They made him feel **threatened**.

All of the people he could imagine standing next to Kaname in his place, replacing him were a threat to him. He enjoyed playing chess and other strategy games. Looking at things from that point of view he could analyse the offensive and defensive differences between them. Every potential partner he could imagine for Kaname other than himself displayed an offensive strategy. They could socialise, they could seduce. They had all number of offensive mechanisms they could use to take Kaname's attention.

But Senri couldn't offensively try to get Kaname's attention. For goodness sake, the most 'offensive' thing he had done in an attempt to gain Kaname's affections was probably when he put on his rose perfume every morning. It was one of the few things he could bring himself to do that was directly done for the purpose of attracting the man of his affections.

Senri saw himself as 'defensive'. Being defensive made him cautious. He aimed to never be intrusive. He was so restricted when he spoke to Kaname and others because he never wanted to say something that may tarnish their relationship. He, in this way, defended their relationship from harm.

Because of his silence he frequently skipped out on large parties, after all no one would notice he was missing. Senri had always been of the thought that Kaname politely greeted people and then left or observed or something, but he had never thought about what else he may do at those parties, he had never **wanted** to think about whatever else he may do at those parties. It was Yuki, just then, who had given him the realisation that he didn't know what Kaname did when he wasn't in his sight. Could he really have just thought that Kaname didn't see any other than him?

The thought brought with it a burning, bubbling feeling in his veins which he recognised as jealousy. He couldn't take the idea of Kaname spending time and speaking sweet words to another. He was feeling threatened, even threatened by his friend, threatened by pretty much everyone of marrying age that talked to Kaname.

_Kaname is handsome, smart, confident, a natural leader, a perfect host and to top it off he also comes from one of the most powerful families in history! Who wouldn't want Kaname for themselves!?_

He had realised tonight, when he had seen them so close, that he had competition and that he had to defend. He had to defend their relationship. He had to do more than just stay silent. He had to do **something**.

*Knock* *Knock*

Senri's thoughts were interrupted by a gentle knocking at the door. So gentle it seemed as if it were not sure it should intrude. But, Senri knew who it was. He could sense who it was before he spoke.

"Senri?" He heard Kaname say from beyond the door.

Senri shook his head. He didn't know how long he had been sitting on the floor behind the door lost in his thoughts. He quickly hurried to pull himself together and hide his emotions. But, he still could not bring himself to open the door.

"Are you okay?" Kaname asked, not opening the door, wishing to give Senri the space he seemed to need right now.

"I'm fine." Senri replied succinctly as usual.

But he knew that he wasn't fine and that Kaname knew that he wasn't fine. So, he quickly added more detail.

"Well, I'm kind of tipsy." He admitted, taking this to be his excuse. "I'm so sorry for breaking that glass."

"You do not have to apologise for a thing, Senri." Kaname replied. "Accidents happen."

_Yes…breaking the glass was an accident._

"Yes, they do." Senri calmly replied.

"Very well, take care and good night, Senri." Kaname concluded.

After Kaname had said his goodbyes, Senri put his ear to the door and listened for Kaname's footsteps to fade into the distance. When he heard silence he moved to the desk and reached for his notepad. Popping the lid on his pen he began writing…and planning.

Senri, someone who was silent so much of the time had so much going on inside his mind. He felt threatened and he felt afraid for the first time he could remember, that someone would take **his** Kaname away from him. Whoever it was, some other noble or even one of his friends, Senri could not let them take Kaname from him. He would make them go away from **his **Kaname if necessary...

_I have to defend…_


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters in the series.**

**A/N: Chapter 6 is finally here! :D**

**I didn't get much response from the last chapter, so I was wondering...was it too angsty or dark? Should I change the second genre from 'drama' to 'angst' maybe? Please let me know, it would really help. ^^"  
**

**AokyorRenka, Eiko. amaya. 1: Thank you so much for your reviews and for your ongoing support! \\(^-^)/**

**Please read, review, fave and follow. But, most importantly, please enjoy! :D**

* * *

**Chapter 6: The Morning After.**

All of them had stayed awake until late, before eventually falling to sleep, yet none of them slept easily. It really wasn't surprising that Senri was still cocooned amongst his sheets.

"Mnn…" He mumbled as he woke, burying his face further into the pillow.

"Senri?" Kaname gently called him, slightly touching Senri's shoulder.

Realising that Kaname was trying to wake him, Senri's eyes immediately opened, as if they had been commanded and focused on the handsome brunet staring down at him. He really hadn't been expecting such a cosy wake-up call. Senri wasn't complaining, though he couldn't hide the blush of his cheeks. Kaname smiled gently seeing this.

_Senri truly is sweet…_

"I was just wondering if you were ready for breakfast?" Kaname asked.

Senri glanced at the clock on the wall behind Kaname. It confirmed how late he had slept, which was indeed quite late. He nodded in response to Kaname's question before the unthinkable happened…

*GROOOOWL*

Senri's cheeks became an even deeper shade of red as his stomach growled for attention. Kaname looked as if he may laugh any minute now. It was so embarrassing that Senri hastened to hide his face beneath the covers.

"There's no need to hide Senri." Kaname assured him. "You've been asleep for a long time, so it's only natural that you'd be hungry."

"But, it's embarrassing." Senri replied quietly, from beneath his sheets.

"It's adorable." Senri then felt Kaname draw further away. "So, I must get cooking to make Senri's stomach smile." Kaname explained cheerfully.

"Come down whenever you're ready for breakfast." He added, before leaving the room.

…

Eventually Senri clothed himself and sleepily walked towards the dining room. He had initially been hesitant to leave his room, fearing the awkwardness of last night's incident. Yet, he knew that he had no choice but to attend breakfast, his stomach would not allow him to skip his morning meal.

As he entered the dining room he saw that Kaname was sitting alone. Yuki was nowhere in sight.

_Maybe she's decided to go home? _

Senri thought this, somewhat wishfully. But he knew better. He could still sense the second pureblood's aura within the building. She had not left…yet.

"Is Yuki not joining us?" Senri asked, with a believable amount of concern.

"She will have her breakfast later. Right now I believe she is soaking her hair in a hot bath. After all, it was dreadful what happened last night." Kaname responded.

"What happened last night?" Senri asked innocently, knowing that Kaname was not talking about his little break down.

"While she was sleeping, some bugs appeared. There was a few in her hair and a few elsewhere in the bed. It gave her quite a shock." Kaname explained. "You must have been sleeping heavily if you didn't hear her scream." He also noted.

"I'm afraid that I did drink too much last night, so yes, I was rather out of it." Shiki replied.

However, what Kaname didn't know was that Senri had heard her scream.

He heard her scream indeed…

…

Senri never wanted to harm anyone. He would not hurt a fly, and he did not intend to hurt Yuki. He just wanted to scare her a little, just enough to make her return home, away from Kaname, to leave Kaname alone with him.

From experience, Senri knew that Yuki wasn't particularly difficult to scare. In fact, from what he had seen, she was rather an easy target, a sitting duck.

So, after making sure that both of the purebloods were asleep, Senri tiptoed out of the house and into the garden. Armed with a plastic container, because he didn't particularly fancy touching the bugs himself, and after a short search he soon had a small collection of bugs at his disposal.

After entering the house again he made a beeline for Yuki's room. Thankfully Yuki's room was easy to locate, thanks to her loud snoring which could be heard a fair distance down the hallway.

*Click*

Senri entered the room as quietly as he could, with his bugs, and walked over to Yuki's bedside. Several times he had the urge to block his ears to ignore her loud snoring, yet he resisted, deciding that it was better not to fuss around and instead focus on getting out of here as soon as possible.

He opened the lid and released the bugs. None of them were parasitic so he knew that they wouldn't harm her. All they would do is crawl.

Senri knew that it may not take long for her to wake with the feeling of bugs crawling on her. So, he left the room quietly, yet at speed, with his now empty container, having left no evidence that he was ever there. And, no one would be able to blame him. All the bugs could be found just outside…surely some may have just crawled into Yuki's bedroom this night, purely by chance.

It was the perfect fright with the fewest consequences.

Just after he had returned to his bedroom he heard it…

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeekkk!"

…

"Having bugs in her hair… that must have been awful." Senri sympathised.

Senri truly did sympathise. Though, at the same time, he didn't regret it. Last night, after the incident which brought him to tears in his room, he had decided. He had decided that he would defend their relationship, by scaring away any rivals for Kaname's attention. Surely, he could at least manage this.

Senri sat down at the table, next to Kaname in the seat which had already been prepared. In front of him was a metal cover which he removed to uncover his breakfast: Toast, sausages, bacon and eggs. The meal was cooked to perfection and, upon tasting, Senri found it to be delicious too.

"This is really tasty…" Senri complimented before ravenously continuing to devour his meal.

"I'm glad that you like it. I rarely have the chance to cook at home so I feared that my skills would be rusty." Kaname explained.

_Wait…_

"You…cooked this?" Senri asked, trying to imagine the sight of Kaname cooking in a kitchen.

"Yes." Kaname replied. "You may have noticed that there are no staff anywhere in the villa. I requested this, as it would let us have a bit more freedom during our stay. My parents know that neither me or Yuki are chefs by nature, but we can at least cook enough to survive. The fridge is completely stocked with everything we could possibly need. Though, if you have any special requests we can always order more ingredients in." He explained.

_I'm having the honour of eating food lovingly made by Kaname for me…_

_I should return the favour…_

"Your food is wonderful. So, in return, would I be able to cook for you tomorrow?" Senri asked.

"Of course," Kaname replied, showing Senri a gentle smile. "I look forward to it."

With that matter settled they continued with their morning meal.

_Things are definitely better when it's just the two of us, like this…_

_I'm sorry, Yuki…_


End file.
